Today was my first taste of what the next four months of my life will look like; Allow me to bitch!
Okay, so like, I'm not really complaining about any of this--I'm just trying to Check In with myself step 1 because this may be Very Consistently how things are going, and it might be sorta stressful down the line! Although having a finishing line already set is pretty nice and cuts through the stress quite a lot. i feel like i've got this smug secret that i'm taking around with me at work, yk?
anyway!! woke up early-ish this morning and got an hour of pactbound editing in first thing. then went to work for eight hours--actually, closer to eight and a half, because the staff meeting ran late. this stressed me out a little because i had told a customer to come over this evening, and i'm sooo glad i gave a little bit of buffer time when scheduling. i had fifteen-ish minutes after getting home from work to myself before the customer arrived and we spent maybe an hour with him looking at his clocks; then, once he was gone, i spent the next thirty minutes at least on a movement i was struggling with yesterday.
(really happy with how that movement turned out, by the way! i wasn't able to resolve all the issues by myself, but i was able to identify and articulate them, and that's just so..... Aughh!! Progress!!!!!!!!!! insert that witch hat atelier panel here)
(also, filling in all those pivot holes WAS kind of something i feel proud of myself for. my dad left me alone after showing me the first one and said "just take it easy and learn a new skill." kind of a life motto right there)
after all of this i spent another hour on pactbound to bookend things. so..... well, i think when you put it all together, that's a 13 hour day. i consider what i'm doing right now as having three jobs: the store, the clock shop, and writing are all different kinds of labor to me. of course, it's not nearly as stressful as working three separate shifts at three separate workplaces would be; and i don't feel particularly rough right now, just good tired. editing and writing has taken on a new pleasure, this little treat i resort to after doing all the rest. it's nice! it's fun! it's not like i'm on my freaking grindset!
like i said, what has me a little weightless is knowing that this is every day for the foreseeable future. tomorrow we clean a movement and regulate all the others, and i'll have to text a few customers--all of this after a full shift at work, and probably on top of 2 hours of pactbound once again. it'll take some discipline to do it like i planned. and if i pull that off, i'll be really just so stupid proud of myself!
honestly, it makes me think of akane-banashi and the zenza arc, when akane is busting her ass in all these menial ways. for a long time i felt like i wasn't even at the Starting line--like, i was living in her prequel training world and high school days. but maybe 2026 is the start of the zenza arc For Real. this means nothing to anyone reading this.
anyway, in the middle of all that this evening was family dinner. Family Dinner!!! isn't that just the world? we started doing it once a week; now, it's nearly nightly that we take meals together. it's actually hard to put into words how much that means to me. it's just this little thing i've wanted for so long and thought i'd outgrown any chance of getting. inner child work or something. i'm so incredibly blessed to be here right now. so so so lucky to have the life i do!